Reichsbrücke von oben

Eurovision 2015 semi 2: #buildingbridges

Update: 9/10, a Swedish style result from Mik, dropping only #POL in favour of the shoe chucking #CZE. A mid-table 7/10 from Ann, dropping #LAT, #MON and #POL in favour of #ICE, #IRE and dared to be different #SMR.

Pointless stats include a BPM for the qualifiers in this semi of 99, as opposed to 92 for semi 1. A disappointing lack of capes on show. We say a fond farewell to Mel G, who must surely return as a solo artist in 2016.

So, semi 2. Seven to take an early bath in the underwhelming Donaukanal. Bolded is out, Mik’s full ranking at the bottom. We’re not so much in agreement this time! Check back on Friday for results – plus cape, globe and tree counts.

This semi has five male and seven female solists, plus five duets. Factoring in semi 1 and the seven Golden Ticket holders gives us a grand total of 9 male and 18 female soloists, 5 groups (including one trio) and 8 duets. (According to ESC Insight’s Sam I’ve gone wrong somewhere in the female solists and groups, but heck.)

In terms of tempo, five in this semi are more or less happy, 11 are snoozefests and one is hard to call. Lumping all 40 together gives us 13 moments of joy, 22 depressives and 5 who are still making their mind up. Who said Eurovision doesn’t reflect life?


Ann: Happy happy! Get a room. Warning: three minutes only.

Mik: Please keep it simple and don’t change anything. Such a contagious chemistry between them: great fun on stage. Kissy, kissy!


Ann: Pleasant enough ballad, and ballads go through. Should benefit from everyone feeling happy, but still needs the luck of the Irish.

Mik: A shame, but it does belong to another contest and era. Too introvert, boring & depressing.

San Marino

Ann: 40 songs in one, good effort. Full credit to the entire population of the Republic. Let’s make Valentina smile again!

Mik: Not even good enough for Junior Eurovision or Eurovision 1972. Stay tuned for the female rapping! We expect better from Mr. Eurovision. We want Blue Johnny Blue back.


Ann: Mr Joksimović, this is so cheap you are even ripping yourself off. Namechecking herbs? Please. Sergej and his skater brought something new to the genre, including the first Visit Montenegro vid. Be off, the lot of you. 

Mik: Zjelko-time: he does know what works, but we do have moved on and no Balkan neighbouring votes in this SF. Strong hook though.


Ann: Keep Eurovision Warrior free. One’s more than enough, and this one isn’t scary enough. 

Mik: Safe and boring, just not pleasant and memorable enough. Uninspiring.


Ann: Epic. Musical storytelling at its best, intriguing and interesting. Nordic noir done right. Plus best video: food fight! Shout-out for Mørland’s Magnus Carlsson style baggy crotch.

Mik: Wow: my favourite this year. A precious jewel that will get lots of votes.


Ann: Thanks for coming. Pleasant enough, until the key change. Yikes. 

Mik: Is this contemporary Portugese music? It just doesn’t go anywhere. 2nd Last. Just give US what we want: fado!

Czech Republic

Ann: Extended toilet break. See above. And remember: Beauty never lies

Mik: They know what they are doing. Very convincing and professional, but will it suffer from the duet year? Hit for me.


Ann: Who writes this stuff?

Mik: It just can’t get cheaper and Nadav will never be the next Justin Timberlake. The happy sound could do well among the ballads this year. A guilty pleasure.


Ann: Not for me. Not as good as it thinks it is. 

Mik: Could work well, straight after Israel: there could not be a bigger contrast. Challenging and a bit too difficult but the jury vote will make it possible.


Ann: Aka Sweden, part 1. Another one for clunky key change corner, and some shocking lyrics. Are their entries computer generated?

Mik: I like it: yes it ticks all the Eurovision boxes, but the strong melody does the trick.


Ann: Frozen in a fancy frock. Yuk.

Mik: Contemporary, but really not memorable. Formula with little Girl, great voice and bare feet: not this year.


Ann: Sigh. If Eurovision is meant to be World Idol, so be it, but where’s Simon Cowell? Pleasing twang at the start, but gets dull, fast. More bonkers lyrics.

Mik: Måns and Klabautermann do sell the song, but Avicci won’t be happy with this rip off. Top 3.


Ann: Why isn’t this called Warrior? You are testing my patience now. 

Mik: Boring, uninspiring and straight from a Swiss High School musical. Last.


Ann: Hurra! Sort of hipster Norge, although this wuss tells us what he didn’t do. Beautiful control.

Mik: Lisa had exactly the same song in 2004, but it works for me. He makes the song.


Ann: Second to last, folkens! Classic and classy.  And why has no one ever had an imaginary violin before? Ljubljana is lovely at this time of year.

Mik: Radio friendly and contemporary, though a bit worried about Maria’s stage presence. Mr. Cameraman focus on hubby & fake fiddle player and it will manage top 3.


Ann: There is no place in time and space where this was a good idea. 

Mik: All very sweet, nice and innocent, but the song is just not good enough. There are plenty of ballads to choose from this year and this isn’t the lucky one.

Mik’s fantasy league:

1. Sweden
2. Slovenia
3. Az
4. Norway
5. Cyprus
6. Lithuania
7. Latvia
8. Czech
9. Montenegro
10. Israel

11. Iceland
12. Ireland
13. Poland
14. San Marino
15. Malta
16. Portugal
17. CH

Featured image: Reichsbrücke von oben licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.


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